Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Life

Life....is sometimes mean to those who don't deserve it. I've been thinking about this young girl at work. I spent the night before at work with her and her mom for almost an hour. I know I should've been working, but I wanted to give my support to them and let A. know that we (our staff) is thinking and praying for her. God, it was breaking my heart to sit and hold her hand and watch her...I've never been this affected by a patient who is dying. I've seen so much death in my short nursing career, but this one really affected me. I couldn't hold back the tears and I sat there crying with her mom, just waiting. After sitting with her, A asked if I was going home, and I told her not yet but i'll make sure to say goodbye before I left. I had a feeling it would be my last time seeing her since I am not working today and I won't be back till tomorrow morning. And I went back, before I left for home, and held A's hand and said goodbye. It hurts because she's so young, only 18, and I can't imagine what her mom is feeling, watching her only child leave this life.
The last time I was so affected by a patient was this other young girl, same age as me. She died of breast cancer. I remember taking care of her, and talking about clothes and such and how she had just gotten married. I had just gotten married to Tommy as well. They were only married for a year before she died. I don't understand why the young ones always have to go. My dad was young as well, but not as young as these girls. I remember sitting and waiting and watching my dad breath, waiting for him to take his last breath. And when the time came, it was unbelieveably heartbreaking. I think this was why I was so affected by A. Just the waiting and wondering when will the time be. God bless her.
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In happier news, Today is my 2nd year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it! We've been married this long...it's been up and down, alot of downs, but we've made it. I never realized how much work it is. But i'm staying positive. We've been together for almost 9 years on February 22nd and I know we can try to make it last 50 years.

I'll post pictures from my 2007 December Daily in a bit...as well as my 2008. Currently trying to finish my Week in the Life album.

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